Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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