I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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