I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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