if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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