this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
