I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
