Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
