Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
