Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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