i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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