Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
