Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
