when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
