I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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