I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
