I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
