Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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