is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
