Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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