He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
