Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
