from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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