he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
