You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
