She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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