hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
