Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
