In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
