how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
