So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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