I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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