afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
