I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
