After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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