I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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