does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
