How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We just shotgunned beers for America
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
