I hate your face
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
