im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
