weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
