A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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