Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We need to get me chipped asap
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
