I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
