Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
