help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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