you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
