i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
