so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
