I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
