walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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